As a therapist and a client, I think of therapy as an anchor. It’s where I work on things I want to shift, whether that’s relationships or how I show up in the world. Then I practice those things out in my life, and I come back to my weekly therapy session to assess, get encouragement, notice gains, and notice regression.
Here’s one example: as my private practice developed, I had to adjust how I work as a highly sensitive person (HSP) to avoid burnout. I had to make peace with a smaller practice and a workday that looks different from other therapists’, and work through disappointment and shame to get there. On the other side of that, I had the room and energy to come back to making art.
In that way, therapy makes my life expand. My life gets bigger. I keep trying more, risking more, gaining more.
Renegotiating at every phase
I have a growth-minded approach, not a medical one. It isn’t “my symptoms have abated and I’m done.” Life is change, and at each phase we’re renegotiating our issues. How are they coming up now? How do I want to approach them now? All of that shifts continually; it isn’t static.
The same terrain, a different level
A tried-and-true metaphor for this is the spiral staircase. It seems like you’re in the same place working on the same thing, but you’re working at a different level. You are moving. Movement in therapy is often hard to notice in real time, but obvious in hindsight.
I also like a video game metaphor. In many role-playing or open-world games, a player returns to the same terrain again and again. As you level up, the challenges often level up too, and you also pick up new abilities that open up places you couldn’t get to before. It can seem like you’re working on the “same thing,” but you experience it differently each time as your skill grows. Life works like that too.
After the crisis
When you’re no longer in crisis, that’s where the greatest leveling up can happen. That’s why it’s wise to keep working in therapy after the worst has passed. Once the clouds clear, you can see further, and you see choices and options you couldn’t see before.
Emotional strength training
When I work this way, I feel grounded and steady, and I find I progress more quickly than on my own. That isn’t the whole point, though. It’s the lifelong work of individuation, becoming more fully myself. I think of it as regular practice: a workout for strength, stamina, and wisdom, and for living intentionally.
Knowing when it’s time to move on
When I think about leaving therapy, I ask myself: am I still growing here? Can I go further with this person, or does it feel like I’ve gotten all I can?
If it feels like you’ve gotten all you can, bring it up with your therapist. You might say, “I’m starting to feel like I’ve gone as far as I can here. What do you think?” Sometimes they’ll agree it’s time for an ending. Other times they’ll see something you’ve lost sight of, something important that has sunk out of your awareness. We tend to forget the scary things we need to work on, and fear can be a useful guide.
What has worked for me
This isn’t the only way to use therapy effectively. I’ve tried other brief and structured therapies as well, but in my exploration I notice I gain the most from this weekly depth-oriented talk therapy model. It isn’t flashy and it doesn’t promise a quick fix, but in my experience it has been the most effective.
If this sounds like the kind of work you want, you can schedule a free 15-minute consultation. I see clients weekly in person in Chamblee and virtually across Georgia.
