Why I Prefer In-Person Therapy for Myself and My Clients

Online therapy has opened up new possibilities for many people. It can be convenient, flexible, and more accessible for those in remote areas or with mobility challenges.

But for me, and for many of the sensitive adults I work with, there’s something different about being in the room together.

There are things I notice in person that are harder to pick up on through a screen, like posture shifts, sighs, eye contact, fidgeting.

When we’re in the same room, I can see the way your foot starts tapping when we get close to something hard. I notice the shift in your breathing. The tears that well up. And you see me too, not just as a floating head on your laptop, but as a person sitting across from you. I think that matters, and I’ve found that something is lost when therapy happens exclusively online. It can help even to have a single session in person if we’re planning to work primarily online.

There’s also the matter of privacy. In-person therapy happens in a space that belongs to you during your session. You don’t have to worry about being overheard by your partner, background noise, or the internet connection. You can’t pretend to be calm while fidgeting just off screen.

I also like the rhythm of weekly, in-person therapy. Even the travel time to and from your appointment can serve a purpose. There’s a little time before the session to shift gears, and some time afterward before you have to return to regular life. That’s different from closing your laptop and immediately being back at work, or with your spouse, or unloading the dishwasher.

In-person therapy isn’t always the most convenient option. I understand why people choose online therapy, and for some people it works very well. But I don’t think convenience is the only thing that matters. For some of us, being in a room with another person is different in ways that are difficult to quantify. I prefer it, both as a therapist and as a client.